January 2012
jehovahnissikeepsmesafe:
God, You are amazing. Plainly. Simply. Totally. I don’t understand life without You. You’re the greatest thing to ever happen to me. Our story begins when You reached down Your hand from heaven and pulled me out of hell. Now You hold my hand, never letting go, and pick me up when I fall. Every single time. You never get tired with me. You never get annoyed. You never...
“Have you ever heard the wonderful silence just before the dawn? Or the quiet and...”
– Norton Juster (via grayskymorning)
“He said it would be very nice to come home and be in the wrong house. To eat...”
– J.D. Salinger, Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters and Seymour: An Introduction (via knockturn)
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And when something great happens to you, don’t you want someone to share it with?
And when you think of something absolutely brilliant, don’t you want to talk about it with someone?
And when you feel incredibly gorgeous, don’t you want someone to agree?
And when you’re in a bad mood, don’t you want someone to sit next to you in perfect silence?
Why can’t...
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I know I shouldn’t leave it be and I should want to try to understand, but there’s nothing I can do that will make me understand it. I don’t understand how it works and I don’t understand why I need to know it. I don’t know how I can possibly get my mind to think that way because that’s just it: it doesn’t. And you know what? I’m glad it...
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summer:
mythology
cultural studies
short stories
,
but more importantly: spiritual.
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I just want to take the hood off your head and kiss your face.
And I don’t want you listening to your earphones, I want you to listen to me.
And I don’t want your eyes looking anywhere but at me.
I just want you to give me a chance.
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my random, favorite teacher
My last class is sociology. It is my favorite class and my teacher is my favorite teacher. So my friend and I are always the last ones out. As we were walking out, my teacher was behind us and he says, “I used to have this same exact backpack and I left a turkey sandwich in it and it smelled really bad so I threw it out. Sophomore year.”
And I thought it was the most random thing...
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And I want to, trust me I do, but my body’s tired of it. It’s tired of being tired. It’s tired of spending all of this time with my back and neck curled into these books. At the end of the day, my hands and arms are so tired of holding a pencil. It’s tired of sitting there. It’s tired of lack of running and walking. It’s showing too because my stomach is no...
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“You make me write poetry and jot down sonnets in an overpriced little black book...”
– ennui
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Seriously considering texting you right now. I won’t, but I think you’d be quite delighted having a conversation with me.
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Why is it always you I think of at the middle and at the end of a bad day?
It’s never you on a good and an okay day.
But bad days… you never escape me.
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He wanted to see me when I was tired and sleepy. And maybe he wanted to brush my hair with his fingers as I fall asleep on his chest. And to gently kiss my eyelids as they slowly close. And to whisper the words dream of me before I fully fall asleep.
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I wonder if you still think I’m pretty and if you miss me. I wonder if you ever stare at me at school when I don’t know you’re around (which is highly unlikely because I always know when you’re around). I wonder if anything crosses your mind when you overhear my voice. I wonder if you ever see something and it immediately reminds you of me. I wonder if there’s a sign...
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I miss you. I miss your innocence and I miss your voice. I miss your insecurities and I miss your shyness. I miss your eyes looking into mine and I miss how it felt to have your body against mine. I miss it—you, us, everything. But I told myself this once and I’ve held onto it ever since: that was a long time ago and who you were then is completely different than who you are now. And I...
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“That’s the way I used to see them in my dreams, laughing, their short fat...”
– Beloved, Toni Morrison
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“I didn’t understand it then. I thought you were mad with me. And now I...”
– Beloved, Toni Morrison
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good things about today
Group history presentation in history. Because nobody could possibly take this class seriously, peoples’ presentations seriously sucked. But when I went up, I could see my classmates heads go from looking down to looking right at me. And my group got an applause, the one group that did! I felt plenty good about myself because, what can I say, I’m pretty boss at presentations. I...
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I’m always getting destroyed by something that’s not even mine.
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And I stop because that’s all you and I will ever be. A series of absolute nothingness. You are a tidal wave to me, and here I am—not even a slight breeze. You feel like home to me and I’m just somewhere that’s not even on your map. And that’s why when you finally see me, I look away because you’re not even really seeing me. You will never see me the way I see...
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*let’s not mention that by sleeping before 9:00 this evening, this will mean major torture tomorrow but let’s not talk about that. One thing matters more than others and that is sanity. Can’t let all of this stuff take over me.
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I can’t even think straight. I try to put my mind into something and it’s wandering into something else—my math homework, my English test, all of the things I have to, summer, future, plans. I can’t even read, for crying out loud. I’m afraid that all I can do right now is get some sleep. I need some sleep. Good Night.
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I was so motivated to start on homework and studying, but once I couldn’t get one of my assignments finished, I just lost all of that motivation. Now I’m just extremely tired and I feel extremely defeated. I want things to not get to me as much as they do, but I can’t change that. I’m just tired and I want to get everything done. But I just can’t. But I’m going...
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If y’all don’t like America, then get the hell out.
I’ve had it up to here with people complaining about this country.
Nobody is asking you stay here. Oh my freaking gosh.
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“She just flew. Collected every bit of life she had made, all the parts of her...”
– Beloved, Toni Morrison
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“He knew exactly what she meant: to get to a place where you could love anything...”
– Beloved, Toni Morrison